Back in the day, everyone thought they would eventually get married; that is just the way it was. Today, more and more young people are deciding marriage just isn’t for them, and when they do get married, they often don’t want kids.
Why is this happening? One of the reasons is an increase in people pursuing higher education and taking longer to graduate than people used to, pushing everything else off until later. Another is a shift in societal norms to emphasize individualism. One final reason out of many more is the negative image marriage has gotten over the years. Divorce is more prevalent, and it’s easier to live with someone without anyone looking down on it.
There are so many reasons to seek marriage rather than casual relationships or continuous engagements, today I’m going to go over some of them.
It’s harder to end a marriage than to move out of your boyfriend’s house
I’ve seen it before many times. A couple has lived together for many years, has kids, and shares rent, bills, and vacations, but they aren’t married. So when habitual arguments continue to crop up, it’s pretty easy to pack up your stuff and leave because there is no formal contract. There are no formal vows before God and witnesses tying together, so it is easy to leave and not work out whatever problems you have. In short, it’s better to commit more formally to your life partner.
A public declaration of love for each other doesn’t hurt either. Presumably, a good many of the witnesses would have some sort of objection to a separation and encourage their friends to try and work it out. If your friends won’t do that, it’s time to get some new ones. A friend isn’t just a person who always agrees. A friend is someone who can challenge what is happening and push for reconsideration.
Not to be indelicate, but you save money!
It is kind of a shallow reason to get married, and by no means am I suggesting you should get married just to save money. But if you are in a long-term committed relationship but not getting married, you are losing out on some savings. Many times, there is a tax break for getting married. If you’re already married, take a look at this article to see some of the ways money can be saved.
It’s not just taxes; it’s cheaper and, in some ways, easier to cook for two than one. Maybe sharing a car is an option, as sharing one mortgage and the household work. Sharing is good; I know because they still teach that in preschool.
Companionship is a necessity for people
All you have to do is look at the pandemic, with all the isolation and all the negative aspects that our culture has experienced, to see what being alone all the time gets people. Being with your spouse and family can be challenging, sometimes. It can cause stress, but apparently not as much stress as being alone. Presumably, marriage to someone with common interests would be a goal, and so you have a built-in board game partner, jogging partner, hiking, cooking, and working. Having someone be there for you when you need them or just want socialization is a good reason to get married.
I often go back to the Bible; the things God tells us to do in there are not just His idea of telling us what to do. It is the way he designed our brains to work. Our minds thrive when we can bounce ideas off someone and share ourselves with them completely. Marriage, and the forsaking of all others is the way our minds and bodies were designed to prosper.
You shouldn’t have children out of wedlock
There is no doubt, according to the research, that children do best in a two-parent home. Not being married probably has a similarly bad effect on kids. Even if your guy is great and would never leave, it’s always in your mind they could if they wanted. It ruins your trust. It works the same for kids. Kids understand so much more than we give them credit for. They can see all their friends’ parents are married, and they will wonder why their parents aren’t. It will create a lack of security in them, similar to a missing parent.
All that said, let’s not just run out and marry the first person you come across. There should be some kind of selection process. I’m not advocating for starting a relationship as soon as possible and then getting married. It can take time to find “the one.” I’m hoping to encourage getting married instead of moving in together. It’s been said so many times throughout history in so many colorful ways, but I think my favorite is, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”
